One of my favorite things about the Pathway Worldwide program as a missionary is the weekly devotionals. Some are regular, earlier devotionals that are part of the rhythm of the curriculum, and several “live”, or new devotionals that are created recently. We have several of those every semester, and one of them was this week. It was by President and Sister Ashton, and they talked about finding our true identity.
Considering that this is very much like the theme of my year of finding out who I really am, and what the words “I am a daughter of Heavenly Parents” really mean, this devotional really spoke to me. Between this devotional, and Elder Brian K. Taylor’s talk, “Am I a Child of God?” which happens to be one of my favorite talks, I get the hint from Heavenly Father what my study focus needs to be.
Finding my true identity is a lot harder than just learning the Primary lesson that I am a child of God. What does that mean for me with my imperfections and often rebellious spirit? How can I be a beloved daughter of God if I struggle with loving, and more importantly, accepting myself? How can I live my true identity? These are questions that I have been trying to find answers for, not only in my scripture study but in therapy as well. Trying to unearth the true me from under all the social roles, trauma, masks, and living up to expectations has been a challenge that I have been trying to tackle for several years.
So who really is this woman? Where will this woman find her true identity? Definitely not in the popular self help books, or retreats hosted by self appointed gurus and internet-based influencers, and not in the creative journals and coloring books that I love so much. And not necessarily in the writings of Victor E. Frankl, Gabor Maté, or even Carl G. Jung. And it might not even be in General Conference talks or the inspired hymns we sing. No, it will be in meditation, when I listen to myself, and on my knees in prayer, when I listen to God.
So what is my identity? Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, Relief Society president, Pathway missionary, employee, team leader, team member, crocheter, reader, home baker, hobby writer, cat owner, Star Trek fan; a passionate, indifferent, sarcastic, loving, impatient daughter of God.
So This Woman 