The last few weeks I have really gotten back into decorating my journals and stuff around me. So, being who and what I am, I impulse bought a lot of stickers. Good thing my niece, aka Halapenyó took quite a few off my hand! I feel less horrible about that expense when I know all too well most of those stickers will just sit in a box, because I will be waiting for a perfect moment to use them.
That perfect moment will never come.
The last two weeks or so I have hit a creative dry spell. Neither writing nor drawing is happening, and a month before the next Brandon Sanderson surprise novel I still haven’t finished reading Tress of the Emerald Sea, and the first time in my life I wish I had bought the audiobook. Seriously. Nothing really creative or purely for fun activity works in my life, and it’s usually the sign that depression is acting up. Honestly, it sucks. When my energies go into remaining productive where it matters (family, work, church), I start losing joy… and even hope that it will get better. So it truly sucks.
Spring and summer are the hardest times for me, because my emotions are no longer aligned with the world outside. The dreariness of winter, the grey and the cold is perfect for the numbness and depression I feel. But then the sun and the colors happen, and suddenly there is a discrepancy.
Thankfully, I am better equipped handling these. Medication helps some, therapy helps a lot. I am learning to adjust and I’m learning the tricks of finding the balance I need in my life. Taking care of myself might cause two days delay at work, but then I am back with a renewed fire and enthusiasm. A Sunday missed every quarter lets me level and readjust and be available. Available to serve, available to entertain, available to tech and to be taught. And letting a creative dry spell be just that, and not struggle against it lets me acknowledge how I am without causing an avalanche of frustration and wasting time in front of an empty sheet of paper.
So… what should I do with all these stickers?
So This Woman 